May, 2003
The Value of Ritual and Routine
by
Carla Kimball
©2004 - 2006, Carla Kimball
All rights reserved.
This was a very weird week! My life felt very disrupted. I was out of town for two days at a business meeting and became totally immersed in the activity of the meeting; two separate events have happened during the course of the week that were very disturbing and unsettling; my regular car had three flat tires over the course of the week; and, as a result, I’ve been driving a rental car that has a peculiar rental car smell as a constant reminder of something different. Maybe it’s age, but with all that, I’ve been feeling bit lost at sea.
What I recognized during this process is that when my life is out-of-balance, I long for the regular rituals and routines of my daily-life. It feels really good to be back to in the familiar environment of my home. I’ve been taking as many yoga classes as I could fit in. I’ve gone for my morning walk and swim almost daily. I’ve met and talked with friends with whom I could process my experiences and who reminded of my essential purpose. While I’m still driving the rental car, I’m driving it in familiar places. Working at my desk is very reassuring. All of these things are part of my routine and they serve to settle me, to bring me back into myself. With the ritual and the routine of the familiar I am beginning to find my center again as I relax into the comfort of the known.
A public speaking engagement is often experienced as a significant disruption to our everyday lives – one in which we can feel off balance with a strong sense of disconnection from ourselves and our center. For many of us it is an unfamiliar experience that carries with it a lot of anxiety. What we need most is the comfort and routine of some thing familiar!
But how do we get that? How can we fall back on the familiar when we’ve avoided every speaking opportunity that came our way? How can there be any sense of comfort in speaking if the speaking experiences we have had have been filled with anxiety.
The value of Speaking Circles® is that we get many opportunities to stand in front of a group and to establish some familiar patterns that let us relax into the experience, relocate within ourselves and bring us back to our center. We learn to slow down… to “listen into the silence”… to breathe… to be present with ourselves and our audience… to receive… to simply be rather than do. Time and time again we come to the front of the room and practice these very simple tools so that they eventually become familiar and routine.
Then, when we find ourselves speaking in public once again and we are filled with anxiety, we have our routines to fall back on. We realize that this experience is no longer unfamiliar. We’ve done this before…many times. We have patterns and rituals that have calmed us when we spoke, brought us back to center, brought us back to the present. All we need to do is access those tools – to slow down… to “listen into the silence”… to breathe… to be present with ourselves and our audience… to receive… to simply be rather than do. And, then the experience is no longer unfamiliar, no longer disruptive, doesn’t have to be filled with anxiety, but can actually be fun and energizing.
*******
Carla Kimball, M.A., M.B.A. is a public speaking executive coach, workshop facilitator and president of RiverWays Enterprises. Over the past 18 years she has presented and coached on a diverse set of business, stress management and communication topics to thousands of business and service professionals. Client companies include leading financial management, health care, and accounting firms.
Carla offers a selection of regular public speaking and presentation skills programs and coaching services for individuals as well as for corporate groups. Carla works from inside-out and helps people become more confident speakers while establishing a strong relationship with their audience.
Carla is a prolific writer on public speaking topics and currently offers a 26 week subscription to The ABCs of Presence in Public Speaking Toolkit, a newsletter which presents one article a week organized alphabetically with a unique perspective on public speaking issues.
Carla is based in Cambridge, MA., ckimball@riverways.com, 617-489-1154, www.riverways.com.
(You may freely copy and distribute this article as long as you keep the content intact and unchanged including title, author, copyright notice, text, contact information, and this entire notice. )
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