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July, 2006
Slow Down and "Smell the Roses"
by
Carla Kimball
©2006, Carla Kimball
All rights reserved.
At a recent yoga retreat, where we were to have three hours of yoga on both days of the retreat, the teacher began by saying, “We have plenty of time. As you explore a posture, let yourself slow down, linger, savor the sensations of the moment. There’s no need to move on until you are ready.” What a concept! Life these days is running at such a hectic pace that there’s never any time to simply slow down and "smell the roses". The yoga retreat was held in an artist’s loft with very tall windows looking out over a wonderful scene of tree covered mountains and a small, quaint New England village. At the end of the retreat I felt a wonderful sense of spaciousness and inner quiet.
Slowing down… This is probably the number one experience that my clients are seeking. They don’t say this when they come to me. Instead they talk about their anxieties, their fears, their worries about doing it right, doing it well. But, anxiety and fear are characterized by speed… a racing heart, shallow rapid breathing, racing thoughts. It’s very hard to speak naturally with confidence and presence when our inner world is racing and reeling. And, I believe that slowing down is the antidote to all this and the key to enjoying yourself when you present.
I have discovered three primary strategies for helping people internally slow down when they speak.
1. Breathing: Such a simple thing! We do it all the time without thinking about it. And, it constantly reflects our inner state. When we are relaxed our breath is long, full and deep. When we are angry, stressed, fearful our breath becomes shallow and fast. But the breath is something we can consciously control and by doing so influence our inner experience. By consciously taking long, slow, soft, deep breaths we can begin to slow down the heart rate and our racing thoughts as well. Control over our breathing is something that is always available to us, no matter what the circumstances, and it is the number one most effective strategy I know for slowing down.
2. Silence: What!?! How can this be? Silence when we speak is the thing we fear most! How can silence slow us down? Silence is paradoxical and counter-intuitive. You might think of it as the homeopathic remedy to anxiety and fear. Most people panic when there is silence and they end up filling up all their speaking time with words and sounds. Often these are meaningless… ummmm…. you know…. so... this is what I think…. Ummm…. Like… welll …you know…so, yeahhhh…. When you replace all these needless sounds with silence, when you take a breath without speaking, when you take your time between thoughts and let yourself relax and regroup, you are slowing down. And, you are giving your audience a chance to slow down with you so that they can take in what you’ve said.
3. Connection: Time is a construction of the linear, logical, linguistic left hemisphere of our brain. I believe that when we turn our “arrows out” and focus on our relationship with each person in our audience rather than what we have to say, we are actually accessing a part of the brain that is involved with bonding and has no sense of time. The verbal part of us thinks very fast, the relational part of us is timeless. Placing an emphasis on connecting with our audience will, by its very nature, help us to slow down. When I get anxious before a presentation I repeat to myself, “Rest in the relationship” and I find myself calming down, slowing down, relaxing.
You can consciously practice these slowing down strategies at every opportunity in normal daily activities – at the dinner table, on the phone, in the grocery line, at a meeting. Let yourself breathe, rest in the silence, and be interested in who you are interacting with. You’ll find the more you practice in non-stressful situations, the more you’ll be able to slow down when you are feeling the anxiety and fear before and during a presentation. And, by the way, you’ll also find yourself enjoying life so much more!
*******
Carla Kimball, M.A., M.B.A. is a public speaking executive coach, workshop facilitator and president of RiverWays Enterprises. Over the past 18 years she has presented and coached on a diverse set of business, stress management and communication topics to thousands of business and service professionals. Client companies include leading financial management, health care, and accounting firms.
Carla offers a selection of regular public speaking and presentation skills programs and coaching services for individuals as well as for corporate groups. Carla works from inside-out and helps people become more confident speakers while establishing a strong relationship with their audience.
Carla is a prolific writer on public speaking topics and currently offers a 26 week subscription to The ABCs of Presence in Public Speaking Toolkit, a newsletter which presents one article a week organized alphabetically with a unique perspective on public speaking issues.
Carla is based in Cambridge, MA., ckimball@riverways.com, 617-489-1154, www.riverways.com.
(You may freely copy and distribute this article as long as you keep the content intact and unchanged including title, author, copyright notice, text, contact information (www.riverways.com), and this entire notice. )
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