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Closing the Presence Gap:
Simple tools for rediscovering this
innate leadership ability
Simple tools for rediscovering this
innate leadership ability
by
Carla Kimball
©2009, Carla Kimball
All rights reserved.
The presence gap*
Jane is bright, experienced, and the only female on her work team. Frustrated, she feels that nothing she says at team meetings is taken seriously and her participation is frequently discounted or ignored. She’s wondering how to become more visible as a strong member of her team.
Jim formed a small startup company with 3 other classmates after graduating from college and soon became director of marketing. At first enjoying his work, the bloom faded when his sales force grew to twenty-five, all direct reports, many of them older than Jim. Naturally introverted, Jim would like to overcome his shyness and his anxiety about age differences. They are limiting his ability to lead with confidence.
Miriam, well regarded in her highly technical field, often speaks to conference audiences of 1,000 or more. With a quick mind and enthusiasm for her subject matter, she tries to cover a wealth of material, talking quickly and packing her slides densely with information. Miriam finds that her audiences often have trouble understanding and absorbing the material she presents. She wonders what she needs to do to be more effective at conveying her message.
Each of these people is an expert in their field, with a solid foundation in their subject matter. There is a gap, though, between their exptertise and knowledge and their ability to communicate effectively. For each of them, developing their leadership presence will help to close that gap.
Essential Strategies for Developing Leadership Presence
There are three essential strategies for rediscovering your natural presence.
1. Slow down. By using the breath to slow your thoughts, you will be much more available to the present moment.
This is often the most important step towards developing an effective leadership presence. In this culture of adrenalin soup everything goes fast. Day in, day out, people are besieged by urgent demands on their time – ubiquitous cell phone access, relentless emails, increased workloads, and complicated family schedules – so that they race from one activity to another, attempting to multitask as they go. This state of continuous urgency and information overload is amplified by the racing thoughts accompanying the stress and anxiety that arise when people encounter uncomfortable leadership situations.
Presence arises when you take a deep breath, slow down, and pay attention
to what’s in front of you. By doing so, you establish a rhythm and
pacing that helps others slow down and become present; and you spark more
effective interactions.
2. Embody Presence: Bring all of yourself into a meeting or important
presentation, not just your brains.
People with real presence are "comfortable in their own skin." Presence is a holistic experience, where our entire being – mind, body and spirit – is engaged, not just our minds alone. At the same time, when a person is fully embodied, she authentically engages the human beings in her audience, not just their thoughts.
One simple but effective mechanism for developing body awareness while speaking is to focus on the physical contact, feet in particular, you are making with the ground while presenting. When anchoring attention to physical experience and also connecting with the audience while delivering the message, you bring more of yourself to each interaction. This has the effect of drawing your audience towards you and engaging their interest and regard. It does take practice as it requires multiple awareness’s at once.
3. The power of the relationship: Place a priority on connecting with your audience rather than your material.
This is paradoxical for most people. When asked to give a talk or speak up in a meeting, their focus is naturally drawn to the subject matter and how to convey it. But the truth is that effectiveness as speakers and leaders is less about what is said and more about who you are and how well you connect with your audience. People respond to a message because of authenticity, humanity, and ability to connect. If a speaker focuses entirely on himself and the material, he creates an experience of separation and is not available to connect with his audience.
Instead, if you give careful thought to why you are speaking, what you want the audience to leave with, and how you can be helpful to them, you will “invite” the audience to join you. Ironically, when your relationship with the audience becomes the priority rather yourself, you'll be less anxious, your thoughts will quiet down, and your audience will trust you more.
Here are several simple ways to invite the audience in:
- Maintain eye contact with a soft, receptive gaze even while thinking. Linger with each person, truly see them, say hello to them in your mind as you speak.
- Think of it as a conversation rather than a presentation. Speak naturally as if you were having coffee with a friend.
- Ask yourself: How can I be of service? Instead of: How can I be perfect and show my expertise?
- Be human! Don't try to be perfect. Making mistakes is OK, it's part of human nature. The best way to do this is not to take yourself too seriously. We are the most engaging when our audience sees that we are accessible and human just like they are.
Leadership enhanced with presence.
To enhance their leadership presence, Jane, Jim and Miriam began to incorporate these strategies into their daily interactions. While doing so, each placed special emphasis on one practice.
As Jane became more fully embodied in her meetings, she noticed that while her voice wasn't necessarily louder, there was more power behind her words and her team members began to listen more and consider her opinions.
Jim started to place a priority on connecting with the human beings on his sales team rather than focusing his shyness and the differences in age, and he found himself more able to align with them and garner their respect.
Miriam found when she slowed down and took a breath between each major point and eliminated much of the detail in her presentations, her audiences were able to absorb more of her message.
In accessing their own natural presence, these three leaders found themselves
to be much more effective in communicating their message while enjoying
themselves more as well.
*(Jane, Jim and Miriam are each composites of a number of clients that have come through RiverWays programs and services.)
**********
Carla Kimball, M.A., M.B.A. is a speaking presence coach, workshop facilitator and president of RiverWays Enterprises. Over the past 18 years she has presented and coached on a diverse set of business, stress management and communication topics to thousands of business and service professionals. Client companies include leading financial management, health care, and accounting firms.
Carla offers a selection of regular public speaking presence and presentation skills programs and coaching services for individuals as well as for corporate groups. Carla works from inside-out and helps people become more confident speakers while establishing a strong relationship with their audience.
Carla is a prolific writer on public speaking topics and currently offers a 26 week subscription to The ABCs of Presence in Speaking, Leading, and Life!, a newsletter which presents one article and exercise a week organized alphabetically with a unique perspective on public speaking issues. She has also distilled her approach to public speaking presence into a workbook/audio set entitled the SpeakingPresencesm Toolkit.
Carla is based in the Upper Valley region of Vermont and New Hampshire at the intersection of Interstates 91 and 89 and centrally located to all of New England, including Boston, Western Massachusetts, Connecticut and Maine.
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We are centrally located in the Upper Valley region of Vermont and New Hampshire close to the intersection of Interstates 89 and 91. As such we are in in the heart of New England and close to Boston and all of Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, New York and Maine.
Travel time from:
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